


on this part of the earth (all we have is right now)

by Clara_sauce_wald



Series: Thasmin [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Constellations, F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Romance, Yaz has a crush, thasmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 01:27:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17295068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clara_sauce_wald/pseuds/Clara_sauce_wald
Summary: yaz spends the night with the doctor underneath the stars and makes a requestorone day we will all be gone, but at least we have each other in this moment.





	on this part of the earth (all we have is right now)

Yasmin got off her shift at a quarter of 12. It wasn’t until she made it home when she rolled off her vest she actually felt the weight of today's (or yesterdays) shift finally ease off of her. She is nowhere near where she wants to be, but it’s a start. Finally, her boss took her off from parking disputes to assigning her on monitoring duty on a notorious construction site that is known to host many night owls or just creeps in general. Although she does nothing more than roll around the block in her car and detains a fellow here and there, it’s more bearable than listening to neighbors bicker about which parking spot was theirs.

Yaz set her cap on the table and dropped her keys in the bowl near the door.

“Anyone home?” She called out-no response. On the coffee table, she found a note that was none other than her fathers, with his distinguishable handwriting that resembled scratches made into the shapes of letters.

**SONYA’S AT A SLEEPOVER**

**MUM AND I ARE OUT WITH THE CHESTERS FOR THE NIGHT**

**THERE’S LEFT OVER IN THE FRIDGE**

**XXX DAD**

Although Yaz liked the sound of the house all to herself for the night, she found the silence around her-lonely; and it ate at her like a dissolving fly trapped in a Venus flytrap.

Should she call the Doctor?

Nah-she just saw her yesterday.

Well, yesterday is relative. To the Doctor at least.

She’s probably busy, with...stuff.

But the Doctor wouldn’t mind, would she?

She probably thinks that they need space, from being on an adventure to adventure at least.

Right?

Yaz huffed and clicked to the Doctor’s contact number. Her picture saved was Yaz’s favorite, The Doctor played around with the snapchat filters on her phone, and snapped a pleasant picture of her with the dog filter. Her nose is in a scrunch and the picture is blurry, her hair is ruffled a bit, but her whimsical smile and cherry cheeks made Yaz’s heart soften, almost forgetting her the day she had at work.

Yaz opened to IMessage:

_Hey Doc! It’s me, I was just wondering-_

No, no, she sounded too needy.

_Hey Doc! I just got out of my shift at work, I know it’s late but I was wondering-_

Late-what is Yaz thinking? Late is probably not even a word in the Doctor’s vocabulary, if anything, she could be way ahead in the future or even a day early.

“Why am I having a hard time with this?”

Normally Yaz is fine with texting and calling her mates, but when it’s the Doctor-she can’t even form a proper sentence. Her cheeks get warm, and she always feels like she can never catch a breath when she was with her (aside from the running, and adventuring, and just being total badass). The Doctor made her feel all sorts of things, but the most she made Yaz feel, was the feeling of being out of breath.

 _You have a crush on her._ Ryan’s sing-song voice teased in the back of her head.

No. Yasmin did _not_ have a crush on the Doctor.

(Or did she?)

_Hey Doc! It’s me. I just got out of my shift at work and was wondering-_

Yaz stopped texting when she finally heard the faint sound of the familiar machine heaving outside of her flat. She looked to her window-

It was the Tardis.

It took Yaz two minutes to race down to the street and in front of the Tardis door. Out popped the blonde alien.

There goes that feeling of losing breath again.

“Hiya Yaz! Got your text!”

“Doctor, how did you get it if I didn’t even send it?”

“Time is relative, even through IMessage.” She scrunched her nose and pulled in the wide-eyed Khan, embracing her as if she hasn’t seen her just yesterday.

“How was work?”

“Well, work was work. Could’ve been better but I’m right where I’m supposed to be, aren’t I?” She sighed into her shoulder, trying to hide the toll of today’s shift with a hint of optimism. The Doctor let go, searching for something in her eyes.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Nah, just kinda wanna be with you for the night, if that’s okay.”

“Yasmin, that is always okay. It’s even better.” The Doctor gave a warm squeeze to her shoulders, then taking her hand into the Tardis.  
Yaz tried to hide the sudden hitch in her throat by the reaction of the Doctor calling her by her full name. Somehow when she says it, it sounds like home to her.

They didn’t go far. Not to any new planets or in the past or future, but here. The Doctor landed the Tardis on the hill where she found Ryan practicing riding his bike for Grace. She observed that it was the perfect place (and perfect night) to go for some stargazing.

They laid together on a blanket, sharing a bag of crisps between them as the Doctor shaped the stars with her hands as if they were created from the dust on her fingertips and discussed each constellation like it was on the back of her hand.

“So basically, Draco-latin word for Dragon-was one of the twelve labors Hercules had to defeat. Discovered by Ptolemy, it is the 8th largest constellation and takes up to 1083 square degrees! Ptolemy-intense chap he was. He offered some cannabis to me once in a wild rave, probably have the plants somewhere in the Tardis.” The Doctor pondered.

“Wait, Doctor, you grow marijuana in the Tardis?” Yaz sat up and looked down at the Doctor.

“I think so, I haven’t tended my garden in a while, ever since I was a professor, really. I probably gave them to Shakespeare.”

“You do know it is illegal in the UK, marijuana...”

“Oh, you lot. Illegal-this, illegal that. Let me tell you once your lot finally legalize it given a couple years, you wouldn’t even understand why you outlawed it in the first place.” The Doctor chuckled as if she had fond memories of the coming future.

Yaz chuckled and laid back down, staring up at the stars. She never had a problem with cannabis, didn’t really care if one smoked it or not, but the thought of the Doctor smoking, now that gave her a smiling thought. She heard the bag of the crisps rustle, and a moment later Yaz felt the brisk touch of the Doctor's fingers against her.

Her breath hitched again.

_-Was she?_

Yaz moved her hand closer to her, her fingers underneath the Doctors.

Every thought, of Yaz being not in love with the Doctor poofed away like dust. All that was in her mind, was the Doctor.

Yaz couldn’t even bear to look at her, scared that once she does, every wall she built up that was constructed from past heartbreaks, would fall down.

“Yaz?”

“Yes?”

“Are you happy with me?”

And that’s when she looked into her eyes.

“Yes, of course. What made you think that?”

“I mean, I know traveling with me can be… a lot. It can be overwhelming. And I know you enjoy it, the lot of you: Ryan and Graham. But, I also know, you know… you’re a police officer. And that job is also taxing. I’m not doubting that you can’t do it-Yasmin, _you can do anything_. But I just worry that you’ll grow tired, with traveling, and me and everything thrown in between.”

Yep, every wall and tower Yaz spent years building-crumbled in the hands of this impossible woman. The woman who fell from the sky.

“Doctor, of course, I’m happy with you. I’m more than that. Doctor-you give me a life full of adventure. Every day with you, it just feels… I don’t know. I feel like I can do anything, I feel special. _Doctor, you make me feel special._ And don’t think that I’m getting tired of you, you’ll have to do a lot more before you kick me out.”

This time, it was the Doctor’s breath to be taken away. Yaz noticed her jaw muscles clench, and her throat swallowing down. It was something Yaz noticed the Doctor did a lot, but only when Yaz said certain things the Doctor liked to hear.

“You, Ryan and Graham, you’re my family. And even if sometimes I am tired from work, and sometimes I do get tired of all the running and chasing, I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

The Doctor stared at her for a moment, looking at Yaz as if she wanted to say everything that was on her mind, but all that can come out was nothing.

Her hand grew deeper into Yaz’s, and for this moment, Yaz got her beat. Because for the life of her, no matter how good the Doctor was with coming up with solutions and always knowing what to say, the Doctor didn’t know what to do except stare at Yasmin Khan.

The Doctor finally muttered underneath her breath.

“Good, I’m glad.”

They stayed like that, Yaz looking down at the Doctor, the Doctor moving back a strand of her hair to behind her ear, and slowly lower her hand to the back of her neck. The Doctor’s pupils were dilated and Yaz was pretty sure she had turned to a salmon pink color, but _God,_ her lips were right there. Her breath tickled her skin.

Yaz couldn’t keep up the lie forever.

Fuck you, Ryan Sinclair.

She dipped her head down and pressed her lips on the timelords. The Doctor moved her hand up, tangled in her locks, and pressed their lips further.

They swore they felt the stars in the sky explode.

Yaz took the Doctor in, pressed her body closer to hers, trying to savor what the Doctor’s lips felt like and tasted like. The Doctor moved her hand down to her waist, pressing her body into her tightly as if tomorrow she would be gone. A tiny moan fell from the Doctor’s lips, only stirring a hunger in Yaz to have more, to have more of the Doctor. And it felt like nothing in the world can tear her apart from her lips.

Until she needed to breathe.

The Doctor was the first to let go, as both of them tried to catch their breath. But there was something in the Doctor’s eyes that wasn’t there before.

It was sadness, and Yaz knew where it came from.

“Doctor, can I ask you a question?” it was nothing more than a whisper.

“Anything.”

“How old are you?”

The Doctor’s eyes darkened. Sadness turned to coldness, and Yaz just pulled the lever. She closed her eyes, trying to find the right words to say (a universe this big, and the Doctor has seen it all, there was no doubt in Yasmin that the Doctor was older than she perceived. And the older you are, the more you have witnessed) and her jaw clenched. She licked the edges of her lips and took in a breath.

“I am over 2000 years old. I stopped counting at age 953.” The Doctor said in a soft, yet stern voice.

Her arms dropped from Yaz, expecting her to move away from shock and her eyes swell up with tears and never speak to her again, but she didn’t. She heard Yaz’s heart rate spike up but showed no signs of retreating now.

“How many people have you loved?”

“Too much to count. I’ve loved entire civilizations, and I lost them all. I’ve seen stars being born, and I witnessed their death. I watched the dawn of the human civilization, and will probably still be here to witness the end of it. You-your _species_ are like a leaf, compared to my lifespan. You are born, you sprout, and then you fall. And now, every tree I encounter, each one of their leaves has fallen, and I’m the last one to stand.”

Still, Yaz didn’t sway.

“Then why stay here, on Earth, if you know we’re all going to move on someday?” Yaz carefully chose her words. Not for the Doctor, but for herself.

“Because it’s worth it. Everything ends, but then it starts again, and it’s always happy. Every heartbreak is worth it because at least I am loving. At least I can say at one point, I loved you and you were here with me, right now on this part of the Earth and at this point. If you know everything will end someday, including me, then might as well cherish it. Because all we have is right now.”

The Doctor smiled, it was a sad smile (She finally knew what Clara meant when she smiled, yet showed two emotions. It wasn’t until she actually did it that the Doctor knew what she meant by it), and gave Yaz a light squeeze on her hand. The Doctor didn’t even know tears fell from her cheeks until Yaz touched them, and wiped the rolling tears away. Her skin was soft and puffy, but Yaz loved every cell of her.

She brought the Doctor’s hand up to her lips, and laid a kiss on the back of her palm, then laid beside her, closing the space between them as she nuzzled her head on the crook of her shoulder and intertwined her leg with hers.

They were surrounded by silence and the night sky, and this time, Yaz appreciated it.

“Doctor?”

“Hm?”

“Can I make a request?”

“Always.”

“When I’m gone, will you name a star after me?”

“When you’re gone, I’m not going to name a star after you, I’m going to name a constellation, a nebula, a whole solar system-a Galaxy even! A whole galaxy all for Yasmin Khan. How does _that_ sound?” The Doctor grinned, imagining the space beyond the stars.

“I like the sound of that.”

But for now, all they were was just here in the moment with the Universe above.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed this fic, I was listening to Sleeping At Last and got inspired! I highly recommend them, they're amazing! Leave a Kudos if you enjoyed and comment below what you think! Would you like to see a stoned!team tardis fic? If so, I'm more than happy to oblige ;) Follow me on twitter: @roseapaldi and follow my Instagram: @l.r.arroyo! Cheers!  
> Lauryn xxx


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